She spends hours with them. Literally

Lego Friends have captured the heart of my daughter, as well as thousands of other school-aged girls across the country. In fact, the Lego Friends series has been a financial boom to the Lego corporation in just a few months. 

The Friends series is essentially pastel colored building sets, ultimately creating items more traditionally thought of as “girly.” Doll houses. Convertible cars. Horse stables. Combined, the kits create a fantasy town named Heartlake, including numerous girl characters who live within the city limits. 

The town of Heartlake begins at the building table, and continues to the reading chair. Lego Friends books tell the story of every female character; the girl’s interests, hobbies, skills, and family. 

Did you know that Olivia’s mom is a doctor?

As a mom, I was genuinely excited that my daughter had taken interest in this series. For decades, Legos have been the building toy. And prior to Lego Friends, my daughter had ZERO interest. The traditional blue, red, and green blocks that built a car or boat were received with a sigh and a shrug. Ninjago? No thanks. 

To my genuine surprise, however, put some pink and purple blocks on a table and she is all in – completely enraptured in the town of Heartlake with all the characters and drama she imagines. 

She reads. She builds. She reads. She builds. She keeps her little brother out of her room so nothing gets “messed up.” She Loves her Heartlake world, with a capital L. 

Can you understand how I was crushed to find the very Legos my daughter loves have been under fire? One of the worst toys of the year? Petitions to stop sales?  An inexcusable attempt at sexist marketing that should put anyone who touches them to shame?

Oh, my. 

I have to admit all the press made me stop and think. By allowing my daughter to play with Lego girls who ride horses or sit by the pool, am I promoting stereotypic gender roles? I assure you, that was not my intent. I was just excited to finally find a building toy she enjoyed. 

By the making the blocks pink, does the ability to learn spacial reasoning, problem solving, and imagination disappear? Is a Lego building toy, not a Lego building toy? 

I would never want to provide activities that would limit my daughter’s view of her potential. My husband and I praise and encourage many facets of her life, shining light on her many strengths and gifts. As she tinkers and plays, I would hope that my life example of motherhood, personal achievement, and citizenship outshines any sparkly jewel in a pastel colored plastic house. 

But, maybe I’m just blinded by Heartlake city’s bright lights – just like Lego wants me to be. 

What do you think? How do you feel about gender-specific toys? Do you change your buying habits because of them?

Gimme a break – I’ve been on vacation! 

Whether you consider this the last list of 2012, or the first of 2013; I offer you a list of my most popular posts of the year. Be sure to take a peek at the ones you missed. 

1. The Alterna-Milks: My “milk rules” and info about cow’s milk alternatives.
2. Dear Fisher-Price®: Why I don’t like the Rock N’ Play Sleeper.
3. From KC to NYC (and Back): My craziest week of the year. 
4. Back Seat until 13: Answering the “why”.
5. Porn, Pot, and Other Problems: Real issues from my KC teens. 
6. Say “No” to the “Bundle Me”: Why this car seat product is not ideal.
7. i hate measles: My summer philanthropy project for Shot@Life.
8. Bye Bye Pacifier +1: Getting rid of a first love. 
9. Stop Oversnacking Your Kids: Kids snack too much. 
10. Time Magazine Kick in the Boob: Ouch. 

A sincere thanks to all who read, comment, lurk, groan, laugh, and follow at KCKidsDoc. 

This place has become a glorious space of learning, growth, and expression. I am still amazed that so many of you join me here. 

Looking forward to the adventures of 2013! 

One thing can be assured when working with children and their families – you will hear a lot of funny stuff.

Here are my top quotes of the year, as spoken by my charming patients and their families.

(Details have been changed to protect the innocent.)

• A visibly overwhelmed dad came for an urgent care visit with his 2-year-old daughter. When she began to fuss while we were talking about her illness, he offered his daughter a pacifier. She happily grabbed it and began to suck. After realizing what he had done, the dad looked at me like a deer in headlights. He quickly spoke, nearly stumbling over his words, as he said,

“Dr. Natasha, I’m begging you. Please do not add to the note that I just gave her a pacifier. My wife would kill me. She doesn’t know I still have one of these!”

• I enjoy hearing how kids celebrate their birthdays. I was pleasantly surprised to hear about the birthday plans of an exuberant 5-year-old. When asked how she celebrated, she said,

“I went on a date with my boyfriend, Harry.”

Her mother assured me that they were closely chaperoned.

• While examining a pleasant 6-month-old, a familiar ding came from her father’s pocket. Her dad, apologizing for the interruption, quickly pulled his phone out and glanced at the screen. He erupted with laughter, saying,

“That was my wife. She just texted, ‘Do something funny so Dr. Natasha will tweet about this later.’”

• During a Friday afternoon well child check, the parents of a beautiful 4-year-old were talking about their weekend plans. Her dad spoke up and said,

“Dr. Natasha, we are officially parents. This weekend, we are going to see the Fresh Beat Band. Sad thing is… We paid more for Fresh Beat Band than we did for Paul McCartney.”

• The mother of a rambunctious 2-year-old boy arrived in to my office for a routine visit. As soon as I stepped into the room, his mother sighed,

“Dr. Natasha, we have reached a new low. He ate dog poop.”

• As heard in clinic, regarding a 6-month-old’s poop consistency:

“It’s like soup. Well, more like gazpacho.”

• During the Thanksgiving season, I love to ask preschoolers what they are thankful for. One answer stood out this year. A shining 5-year-old answered without hesitation, throwing her arms in the air, shouting,

“Pickles!”

• History of present illness, as told by 5-year-old:

“I was picking up my toys and this bead jumped into my nose.”

• Beginning in elementary school years, I begin to give my kiddos scenarios to gauge their knowledge of drugs and alcohol. A common question I ask is, “If you saw an open beer can on your dining room table, what would you do?” A wise 9-year-old surprised me with an answer I had not heard. After think for a moment, he looked at me quite sternly and said,

“Recycle it.”

Good answer.

This year has been many things. 2012 presented elation and joy, grief and sorrow, babies and graduate, surprises and honors, honesty and redirection.

I wish to thank my patients and their families for being allowed into their lives. It is a privilege to be part of their journey.

Here’s to much more for all of us in 2013. Cheers.

Photo by gretchichi on Flickr, Creative Commons

“What do you think, Dr. Natasha? She really likes my new iPad mini. I’m thinking of buying her one for Christmas.”

 I curiously looked at the father standing in my office. His busy 9-month-old daughter was showing off her new crawling skills, independently roaming the exam room. 

“Buying one, for whom?” I asked. 

“For her!”, he exclaimed as he pointed to his little girl. 

The week of Thanksgiving traditionally marks the beginning of the Holiday shopping season. In some families, getting to stores on Black Friday at 6 AM holds as much tradition as grandma’s famous turkey stuffing. 

And on the top of Holiday wish lists? Technology!

From iPads and iTykes to LeapFrog and vTech, there seems to be a new gadget for every age. And in our adult world of bigger-newer-faster, it only makes sense that even our youngest children would be putting the latest tech on their wish list. 

But would they, really?

I think these shiny new boxes, dusted with the fragrance of fresh batteries, cloud our judgement. We get blinded by the blinking lights, overestimating toymaker-touted benefits. Meanwhile, we underestimate the learning and creative play our children are doing everyday. Naturally. Simply. Without intervention. 

I believe that just because we can buy the latest tech gadget for our children, does not always mean we should. 

As our toy technology advances, we limit their creative potential. Tech toys are given to children with predetermined boundaries and purpose. Simple toys, on the other hand, provide the raw materials of unlimited possibility.

Blocks, dolls, and trucks can be lifted and dropped, tasted and chewed, squeezed and thrown, cuddled and loved. These are the building blocks of self-directed learning, creative play, and intellectual development that we all want for our children.

Toys are also the building blocks of memories, more powerful than any LCD screen.

When it comes to toys for young children, I believe technology needs to be kept on the store shelf. So as I am shopping for my own family, nieces, nephews, friends, and neighbors; I have a simple rule:

No tech toys for tots. 

In exchange, I can offer some alternatives. Here are some classic, developmentally appropriate gift ideas for the little ones on your shopping list. 

0-6 months: Board books, Cloth books with large pictures, Rattles, Teething toys, Toys with various textures to grasp and chew, Activity mats

6-12 months: Simple picture books, Sorting cube, Push/pull toys, Bathtub toys, Stacking rings/blocks, Sensory balls, Soft blocks, Soft activity books

12-18 months: Picture books, Simple instruments, Dolls, Stuffed animals, Big dump trucks and tractors, Building blocks, Jumbo knob puzzles, Play workbench/kitchen

18-24 months: Lift-the-flap books, Simple shape puzzles, Large building blocks, “Helper” toys (broom, play vacuum, apron, play tools), Play animals, Play phone

Simple. Classic. Battery-free. 

Although these toys may never be on the “Hot 100” list for the Holiday season, they are classic toys for a reason. You may be pleasantly surprised just how long their joy will last. 

For more Holiday gift ideas, check out this post from Dr. Lai and Dr. Kardos of Two Peds in a Pod.

A special note: As Thanksgiving Thursday disappears as quickly as the pumpkin pie, I am hopeful that all of you will pause and be thankful for where you are. Thankful for the people that you are with. Thankful for the teachings and guidance from family members who came before you. Thankful for the person you have become, including your strengths and flaws. And, thankful for the next generation that we all have a part in guiding and loving until next Thanksgiving. 

Have a wonderful Holiday. 

Instead, you will likely find this:

A tangled mess of silver and plastic in no apparent order. 

I used to be bothered by a such a disorganized silverware drawer, but that was years ago. I have let go of the need for nestled stacks. Now, the upside down forks mixed with the oversized spoons just make me smile. 

Because my 2-year-old did it. 

The clean forks and spoons are always the last left in the dishwasher. It is my 2-year-old’s job to put them away. And, he does it. His way. His pace. His chore.

And the best part? The smile on his face when the last fork is dropped in the drawer. 

I believe chores are important, even for toddlers. As toddlers are learning their independence, and testing acceptable boundaries, they are developing their foundation of self-esteem and family belongingness. Chores are a way to promote responsibility and personal pride, while providing a routine opportunity for praise and love. 

So, after the second birthday, I suggest something to each of my patient families. 

A two-year old should have 2 chores. 

Giving a toddler a task, however, is very different than creating a chore list for an older child. Here are some tips on what to expect from the littlest members of your family. 

5 Tips for Toddler Chores:

1. Take advantage of a toddler’s natural tendency to mimic adult behavior. Turn an activity your toddler is modeling into a routine task. For example, is she following you around with a rag while you are dusting? If so, dusting may be a great first chore. Pushing laundry baskets? Putting clothes in the hamper? By routinely asking to repeat an activity your toddler is already showing interest in, you have successfully started chores! Need ideas? Look at this list some toddler-appropriate jobs.

2. Help your toddler understand that every member of the family has unique jobs to help one other. Use a consistent phrase to describe the essence of the task, and use the same phrase when talking about housework you are completing. For example, “Mommy is taking out the garbage to help the family. Can you put the napkins on the table to help the family?”  

3. Toddler chores are an opportunity for praise and acceptance. If a chore is not completed, a toddler should not be punished.

4. Help your toddler understand what is expected of him by breaking down larger tasks into little pieces. For example, instead of saying, “pick up your toys,” consider starting with, “put the truck in the box.” And, remember to show your child each step along the way. Praising your toddler as each step is completed will motivate more self-directed tasks in the future.

5. The goal of the chore is to complete the task to the best of your toddler’s ability. The goal is not perfection, efficiency, nor “correctness.” Expect your toddler to need some redirection and some extra time to get the task completed. 

And remember, if you come to my house and ask for a spoon, don’t expect to find it in a neatly organized location. Instead, expect to be rummaging through the silverware drawer, only to look up and see a smiling two-year old proudly saying, “I did it.”

Parents worry when their children do not eat vegetables. 

And, I understand why. 

Parents know that vegetables are an important part of a healthy diet, and get frustrated when they are consistently left on their child’s plate. 

The result? Parental “veggie-stress.” 

Although veggie-stress begins at the family dinner table, it can be amplified by the rather faddish way parents talk about poor vegetable eaters within playgroups. Conversations among parents can support mutual feelings of veggie-refusing frustration, or create feelings of defeat when a mother proudly claims that spinach is her 18-month-old’s favorite food.

To avoid the worry about a child’s vegetable intake, some parents jump to crazy short term “solutions” to make the veggies disappear. From fantastical airplane spoons to daily homemade veggie-smoothies; I am often amazed by the tactical maneuvers used to get children to swallow green produce. 

The happy reality is that although parents may be upset that their children are refusing “anything green,” most of these children are following their growth curves with precision. 

Appropriate growth reinforces the general rule that kids will eat a relative balance of nutritional foods if consistently offered over time. Therefore, for those families struggling with veggie-refusers, I suggest stepping back from the hyper-veggie-focus and approach balanced eating from a broader perspective.

Here are 3 suggestions:

1. Eat how you want your children to eat. Including vegetables. 

When a parent is concerned about their child’s eating habits, I often ask to describe in detail the eating habits of both parents. Typical patterns often emerge. Parents without a healthy balance of food on their own plate. Parents who provide a perfectly balanced meal for their children, while fixing an entirely different meal for themselves to eat after the kids go to bed. Even parents who admit their own hatred of vegetables. 

It makes fairly simple sense that if a parent does not eat a balanced meal with their children, it is unrealistic to expect their kids will voluntarily choose to eat a balanced meal. Even at the dinner table, actions speak louder than words. 

So, next time you see veggies left on your child’s plate, take a new approach. First, be sure the veggies you expect your child to eat are on your own plate. Then, happily eat them all. Once your child says he is finished, gobble up their veggie leftovers. Seeing a parent eating two servings of green will more influential impact than waiting for them to “take just one bite” ever will. Be patient while waiting for positive change. 

2. Lead the mealtime experience.

Many parents who are struggling with a child’s heathy eating will say,

“The daycare provider says she always finishes her vegetables at lunch. I don’t believe it. She never touches them at home.”

 I would argue she likely does eat all her veggies during lunch for 3 reasons. First, she is hungry. Second, she knows lunch is her opportunity to eat. Third, she knows she is offered only one meal option. In short, the expectation of the daytime meal experience is very clear. 

If your child is not eating veggies, consider the expectations you have created for the entire meal experience. Are you prioritizing the meal to be an undistracted, technology-free space optimized for family time and food eating? Are you offering too many options or alternatives, catering to a child’s whims rather than guiding what is expected? Are you feeding your child in order to avoid consequences of an empty tummy (tantrums, night wakings) rather than to teach the meal traditions and expectations of your home? Is your child truly not hungry after having such a great lunch and afternoon snack?

Honor your responsibility to create what you consider a balanced meal, at a consistent time and place. Join your child at the table with the meal you have prepared. Then, allow your child the time and opportunity to eat. This simple, effective, meal time leadership will nurture life-long healthy habits.

3. Don’t underestimate your child’s natural desire for balanced nutrition. 

Balanced nutrition is best obtained from eating a wide variety of whole, natural foods. 

Don’t be mislead that nutrition can be simplified into a compartmentalized, 24-hour quota. Dietary recommendations are based on averages over time, not the needs of each day. 

Although it can be difficult to remain patient when your child limits the foods they will eat, try not to emphasize a short-lived veggie-limiting phase by creating bad habits. Offering “safety-net” choices or extra snacks- just to get one more serving of veggies eaten before bedtime – will not accomplish the goal of a raising a veggie-loving adult.

For kids who are growing well, give yourself permission to allow normal fluctuations in a child’s quantity and variety of food choices. Children will consume a fairly balanced diet, if consistently offered a variety of food groups. And for most, the simple habit of routinely offering veggies is all that is needed for the love of veggies to ultimately develop. 

Talk to your child’s pediatrician if you are concerned about your child’s nutrition. Until that visit, you may enjoy Eat Your Vegetables! and Other Mistakes Parents Make: Redefining how to Raise Healthy Eaters, by Dr. Natalie Digate Muth. The book provides a very detailed approach to nutritional parenting. 

Now, go enjoy some veggies…. 

When baby is around 6-months of age, most parents need to begin childproofing their home. 

Here are 3 simple tips to keep your home a safe place for exploration and play. 

1. Begin with the “Big 3.”

Outlet plugs: Most families begin with outlet plug inserts. But, if you are anything like my family, these plugs end up lying on floor once removed. Outlet plugs will not protect a child from electrocution unless in the outlet, so consider installing child-protective swivel outlet covers as an alternative. Traveling? Use duct tape. 

Stair gates: There are multiple options for stair gates. Be sure to head to the store with the exact measurements for the area you need to protect. I recommend a gate that is secured to the wall (screwed-in) at the top of the stairs. Tension-type gates are not reliable for top-of-the-stairs protection. If you purchase a walk-through style gate, beware the cross-bar near the floor. It can easily be tripped over by tired parents. 

Cabinet/drawer latches: Most families use pressure latches to close cabinets containing hazardous items. These inexpensive and quick-install latches work great for early explorers. Many toddlers, however, are able to open these latches. For more secure cabinet/drawer protection, these magnetic locks are great. Just don’t lose the magnetic key! 

2. Watch your baby play. 

 After you have mastered the “Big 3,” now is time to sit back and watch. 

 I mean really watch. 

Every child has their own level of curiosity. For some babies, the “Big 3” is all that is needed for adequate home protection. Some babies, however, will be much more interested in exploring everything in their environment. If you notice your child consistently heading for a dangerous spot in your home, add the required safety devices for their protection. In my opinion, however, there is no need to get every safety gadget and gismo installed before your child demonstrates risk. Closely watch, then secure accordingly. 

3. Don’t ever think you are “finished” childproofing.

As your child changes, so do the risks they will take. It is NORMAL for children to test boundaries and push limits as they grow. This can put them in unexpected places in your home. 

Reaching babies can get to window cords. Toilets can be fascinating to toddlers. Kids love to mess with entertainment centers, and can become entrapped under fallen TV sets. Older children can use chairs and toys as “ladders” to get to higher tables and cabinets. Table corners, appliances… the list can go on and on. 

Don’t get complacent with your protection. Routinely check what you have already installed to defend against wear and tear. And, be ready to add new devices as your child grows into new places. 

When there are more than one child in the home, childproofing can become more of a challenge. Watch this video for an effective DIY project to keep an older child’s small toys (choking hazards) away from younger siblings. And, here is a great childproofing checklist for items you may have forgotten. 

Explore and be safe!